When we met unexpectedly last evening, I was startled to see
you. I had been under the assumption that you confined yourself to the drop
ceiling and had not be in the habit of visiting the actual kitchen proper. I
promise that there is nothing for you in my kitchen, as I keep all my food in a
large metal box. I do not believe you possess the opposable thumbs or strength
to lift the lid, so please don’t bother trying.
After an extensive survey of
the grounds, I believe I have identified your access points. This oversight in compound security has been
repaired.
I think you will have more luck with the baker next door. If I see
you again, the situation will escalate quickly. I swear to god I will
adopt/capture a feral Gambian cat and make it live in my courtyard if you make
me, and really, nobody wants to see that happen. Let’s not meet again.
Sincerely,
Erin
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